Adventures in Bridesmaid-ing

I've had the good fortune to support numerous friends as a bridesmaid.The most recent bout  takes place this coming weekend.  There are a lot of things that I can look back on in my life, with the perspective of being 31, and think, "Boy, I wish I had known then what I know now."  One of those things is being a bridesmaid - especially a plus size bridesmaid. Here are my top three lessons learned.

Try Hard Not to Gain 20 Lbs Before the Wedding

It can happen, for one reason or another.  For my friend Stephanie's wedding, I gained a bunch of weight in the months leading up to the event.  And then I waited until the last second to have my dress altered.  And then I didn't try on the dress at the tailor's...so did not realize until I tried the dress on 2 days before the wedding that it still did not fit.  Which leads me to my second lesson...

Go to a Good Tailor

Sure it's annoying to take a dress that you'll wear once (and yes, you will only wear it once no matter what the bride tells you) in for alterations.  But if you're going to be a bridesmaid, go all the way.  Pay attention to the little details.  Have the bust taken in so it fits perfectly.  Add gussets to the sides if the dress is a little too snug.  Hem the skirt so it hits you at the perfect spot on your leg.  The dress might last one night, but those pictures last a lifetime. 

Test Run Your Complete Look

 I have two perpetual issues that I agonize over when it comes to building my complete bridesmaid look.  Every single time, I spend hours poring over photos of up-dos; searching for something that looks chic but not overdone.  HOURS, people.  My second issue?  Shoes.  For some reason, I always spot the same ugly pair of shoes at Payless and think, "Oh - yeah, those will work."  I have literally bought the same dorky pair of sandals for the last three weddings I've been in.  

Aaaand I did it again for this one.  Behold - the look that did not work:

 I thought wearing my hair up would be perfect.  But the halter top and the cut of the dress conspire to make me look a little wide at the shoulders and hips, so my head looks very small with an up-do.  And do I even need to say anything about those shoes?  The ankle strap that cuts my legs off...it's just not good.  Thank goodness for digital photography!  I was able to remedy both the hair and the shoes after seeing this picture.

A fuller hair style (essentially a fancy side ponytail) makes me look more proportional from head to hips.  And the pointy-toed slingbacks create the illusion of longer legs.  Now that's worthy of an I-Do!